The Chaste Man breaks his enslavement to pornography and grows in Heroic Sexual Self-discipline and Chastity. He experiences freedom and joy as his spirit, mind, emotions, body, and relationships heal.
The Freedom and Joy of the Chaste Man
The Chaste Man is a man whose mind, habits, desires, and way of seeing others have been shaped by God. His desire to seek union with God through the disciplined and zealous practice of the Catholic faith leads him to pursue Heroic Sexual Self-control and to grow in the joy of Chastity.
The Chaste Man experiences blessings across every aspect of life, including a close relationship with God, the health of his body, the freedom and joy of pure thoughts and behaviors, and deep unity with his wife, children, friends, and the broader society.
Deep Communion with God – The Chaste Man has a vibrant faith that leads him to make deep communion with God his highest goal, both in this life and in his pursuit of Sainthood and the eternal happiness of Heaven. Through his pursuit of heroic sexual self-control and chastity, he demonstrates his deep desire and hope for the salvation that comes from God alone. Through a disciplined life of prayer, the Sacraments, and works of mercy, he is free to seek, discover, and carry out the unique heroic mission God created him to fulfill.
Rejection of Satan – The Chaste Man has a clear understanding of the evil of Satan and how he continues to attack men, divide them, and draw them away from God. He recognizes that temptations toward pornography may involve demonic influence and that Satan seeks every foothold he can gain in a man’s soul. For this reason, the Chaste Man rejects pornography, for he does not wish to invite evil into his life or his home. If he falls, he turns quickly to repentance and rises again. As he perseveres in chastity, God strengthens him, weakens the power of temptation, and grants him greater freedom.
Brain and Mind Are Vibrant – Though he may have previously fallen into a habit of pornography, when he rejects it and begins to pursue chastity, his brain and mental life begin to be renewed and restored. As the corruption of addictive patterns loses its power, he breaks old bonds and begins forming new pathways that reward the desire for what is pure while growing in distaste for the false novelty of pornography. In time, and through the pursuit of Prudence, areas of thought and behavior weakened by pornography begin to heal, and his self-control and decision-making improve. His mind becomes clearer, and he regains the ability to think well, focus attention, resist distraction, and sustain attention on what is truly important in life.
Sight Is Purified – The Chaste Man recognizes that pornography deforms and poisons vision. As he grows in heroic sexual self-discipline and chastity, he makes it a priority to see the dignity of souls rather than reduce people to bodies. He experiences greater freedom as he practices custody of the eyes and learns to look first at the faces of others as persons made in the image of God. With this new way of seeing comes reduced temptation, less shame from former habits, and deeper peace. Because he now looks at souls and faces rather than bodies alone, he discovers richer human connection and becomes more capable of genuine friendship, love, and trust.
Identity Is Heroic – The Chaste Man remembers with gratitude that he is a creation of God, and if baptized, that he is an adopted son of God. He embraces the pursuit of purity and finds deep satisfaction in becoming a heroic man who battles temptation and resists Satan’s attacks. If he is married, he takes joy in remembering and living his marriage vows, remaining faithful in mind and body, and refusing adultery through pornography. If he is not married, he takes joy in pursuing Fortitude and preserving himself in purity so that he may one day give himself wholly to his future spouse.
Virtues Are Strengthened – Because the Chaste Man has rejected the Vice of Lust and the corruption of pornography, he makes major progress in the pursuit of a virtuous and manly life. He grows in all the virtues. He places deeper faith, hope, and love in God. He grows in Prudence by using wise means to avoid pornography and pursue chastity. He grows in Justice by giving others their due and honoring their dignity. He grows in Fortitude by setting his mind on personal greatness and persevering in the battle for chastity. He grows in Temperance by practicing chastity, self-control, and regaining order and diligence in his life.
Emotions Are Balanced and Joyful – The Chaste Man recognizes that pornography corrupts the emotions, and he is committed to recovering the full gift of emotional life. As he rejects pornography, he leaves behind despair and enslavement and regains joy and happiness in ordinary experiences, including relationships, work, and the beauty of nature. By battling his impulses, he grows stronger and becomes less ruled by ordinary stress, learning to meet life head-on with courage. He experiences great freedom and joy because he receives forgiveness in the Sacrament of Penance and can live with confidence, free from shame, secrecy, fear of discovery, and guilt.
Genitals Are Healthy and a Delight – The Chaste Man experiences gratitude for how God has created him and is satisfied with the gift of his sexual organs. He gives thanks to God for his body. Though he still experiences urges for sexual release, he battles the temptation to masturbate and seeks God’s grace and forgiveness if he falls. As he turns away from pornography and misuse, he regains the fullness of healthy sexual function as God created him. He experiences the joy of returning to a natural attraction for the natural beauty of real women. He also experiences freedom from the hunger for perverted sexual acts and finds joy in the natural and beautiful intimacy of the marital act with his wife.
Body Is Robust – The Chaste Man desires to be a good steward of the body God has given him. As he turns away from compulsion and the misuse of sexuality, he begins investing in strength, health, and discipline. Because he has regained greater self-mastery over bodily cravings, he has new power to battle gluttony and obesity. His stamina, strength, and flexibility grow through regular exercise. He regains energy, vigor, and physical confidence, which bring greater satisfaction and happiness.
Beautiful Union with Spouse – The Chaste Man, if he is married, strives to build a deeper and more meaningful union with his wife. Because he saves himself from selfish sexual gratification, he is able to give himself fully to his wife in the marital act. He offers himself as a complete gift and finds joy in sacrificing selfish desires so he may love her well. He and his wife enjoy a thrilling and wholesome intimacy in marriage. He also takes joy in building self-mastery over pornography and fulfilling his duty to protect his wife from stress, betrayal, and harm. He rests in peace, knowing he no longer lives under the threat of devastating her through hidden pornography use.
Protection and Nurturing of Children – The Chaste Man, because he practices chastity, heroic sexual self-discipline, and purity in his own life, takes great joy in fulfilling his duties as a loving and honorable father to his children. Because he has regained freedom from pornography, he no longer lives under the fear of his children discovering his former habits. Having entered the battle and grown in self-mastery, he is able to speak clearly and without shame to his sons about the dangers of pornography and the blessings of purity. He also experiences the joy of being close to his daughters and showing them the fatherly love that helps shape the kind of man and husband they will one day seek.
Builds Strong Fraternity – The Chaste Man, because he has thrown off the isolating influence of pornography, grows in his desire to build true friendships and fraternity with other men. He desires to imitate Christ in His friendship with the Apostles and recognizes that brotherhood with other men helps him grow in holiness, for “iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Prv 27:17). He experiences not only the joy of friendship but the deep satisfaction of being a loyal friend to other men who need his strength, encouragement, and brotherhood.
Helps Strengthen Others and Society – The Chaste Man seeks to live a moral life marked by charity and justice toward others. He understands that his former habits cooperated with the sins of those involved in pornography, and he now seeks to pray for their souls and for their conversion in Christ. He experiences the freedom of no longer living as a hypocrite and the satisfaction of no longer supporting the pornography industry. Because he knows the destructive power of sexual sin through his own battle and growing self-mastery, he becomes motivated to speak, act, and support a culture of purity in the broader society while opposing sexual perversion in all its forms.